Wednesday, June 1, 2011
This post is going to be confusing and since I'm realtively sure no one reads it...it's more for me to put things down they way I see 'em and maybe get some closure for myself.
When I was in high school, I was an average girl. But I didn't really fit in anywhere. You know I knew the jocks and had friends and a couple of boyfriends who were jocks, but I also knew nerds, geeks, stoners, etc. I married a guy who was quiet and hung out with the same few guys his whole life. Where did that put us, as a couple you ask, pretty much in limbo. Most people move on after high school and apart from my husband's friends and a girlfriend or two of mine we did too. But after a while we got back in touch with some friends from high school. Over the years we were accepted into the group made up of all the different types of cliques. It was interesting to see the dymnamics removed. Until something happened. There were several things...actually that led to the end result. A falling out with one of the women who used to be one of my best friends, something this woman did caused two other friends (who are married)something that could have been extremely detrimental, I stood up for the two friends and now it seems we are on the outs with all. We still get invited and stuff but it's not the same. And truthfully, it's sad. The couple that had been harmed (in my mind) during this whole thing...didn't feel that it was an issue and so I left it at that. The man of the couple had once told me, when I was having issues with my old best friend, that he would always be my brother and be there for me. But that he'd always tell me the way it was straight up. Now, as you women know you judge men and they way men treat you by your daddy or the daddy figure you had in your life. I had a step dad and we didn't have much of a relationship with him...so I judge men by my husband. My husband may I start out by saying is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I'm saying that because all the rest that follows makes him sound as if he is and we all know that's impossible. My husband is honest,trustworthy, loving, giving, a hard worker, dedicated, loyal, and loves God. He never says something he doesn't mean and if he gives you his word...it's as good as gold. He's strikingly handsome and a good kisser too! Wink, wink! With that said, after all that this man told me I found him to be not like my husband and all. And truthfully this is the most disappointing of the whole situation. I put him up there with a man in my life who has rarely let me down when it counted. And he didn't deserve to be up there. I'm not feeling badly about that woman who used to be my friend because she was very manipulative and controlling and I could see after awhile of getting back in touch with her that she wasn't sincere but just a selfish, bitter, unhappy person who put on a big fake front to fool herself. I'm truly wounded and sad about that man though because there are very few men in my life I have faith in. It's a great loss and one I'm not soon to get over. A valuable lessoned learned. I put my faith where it deserves to be placed.